December 3, 2013: Black Friday has come and gone, but lame, ridiculous, synapse-clogging marketing phrases live on. As part of our regular effort to reign in out-of-control marketing verbiage, here is a follow-up to our wildly successful Top 10 Incredibly Lame Marketing Phrases. Like last time, all of the entries below were contributed by members of the Didit/HLD staff.
Disruptive: Today, everyone wants to portray themselves as being the brilliant rebels that shake up the status quo. But the fact of the matter is that most improvements in marketing methods, techniques, and technologies build on other peoples’ good ideas. Contributed by Carla Rover.
Deep Dives: This one makes me want to dive off the deep end because it’s just another way of saying “we’re performing extensive (and probably expensive) analysis of your (issue/website/dog’s grooming/whatever).” Deep Dives should be kept to SCUBA and Chris Nolan movies. Contributed by Eric Wiggins.
SEO is Dead: Really? Really? The only real way that SEO can die is that for us to stop using search engines. Until there’s some kind of telepathic connection set up between our brains and the goods we covet, search engines will be there to translate our intent. Contributed by Marcus Arcabascio and Ralph Michalowski
Back of the envelope math: This roughly translates to: “We don’t have any real data as to (costs/time/man hours/jelly beans) that this will take, so we’re going to take a wild guess and then change our numbers when we get some real data in. But you can trust us…” Contributed by Eric Wiggins.
Best of Breed/Best of Class: It’s one thing if you’ve won actual industry awards and have a track record of doing outstanding work for clients who endorse you. However, the actual phrase is used so often and has been beaten into the ground so hard that it has ceased to have any real meaning. More often than not, “best of breed” simply means “we’re exactly like your last agency/customer/producer.” Contributed by John Virgil.
Digital Evangelism: Attention all digital Cotton Mathers: at Didit we believe that performance should be based on data, not faith. Contributed by Steve Baldwin.
Real-time cross-channel attribution and allocation: Buh? What? Come back to me when you can say that in English. Any concept in digital marketing should be expressible in 3 words, tops. Contributed by Steve Baldwin.
Quantum Shift: Hey, we liked that show with Scott Bakula. Quantum as a term should stay in physics and IT products names. Contributed by Steve Baldwin.
We’re looking for more phrases! We’re sure you have some howlers. Send your Lame Marketing Phrases to chris.bell@didit.com, or tweet them to #lamemarketingphrases at @diditmarketing.
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